In our culture, vulnerability is seen as a weakness and we are conditioned to believe that we should never show the world when our hearts are open. This couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to sex.
For some of us, sex can be used like a drug to drown out painful emotions and provide us a false sense of connection with someone else. For others, it is a way to get your rocks off and it provides a release to the challenges of every day life.
I have been in both scenarios. There is nothing wrong with using sex in these ways. It's your body, your call. No judgement here. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes, it just doesn't. But regardless of the situation, we have to be honest with ourselves and understand it for what it is.
At the end of the day though, I believe that deep down inside most of us want to connect with someone on another level rather than just the physical. And you can! Whatever your relationship status is, you can take your sex intimacy up another notch and make it an unforgettable experience.
Here are 4 ways to make sex that much better:
1. Have lots of foreplay.
Ever heard of the saying that "sex begins outside of the bedroom"? It's so true! As amazing as the stimulation of our lovely genitalia is, it doesn't compare to the stimulation of the brain. Whether it's through sending flirty text messages throughout the day, whispering naughty things in their ear in public, having intense conversations, kissing everywhere but on the lips (more on this one in tip #4) these brain teases make you crave sex and intensifies it that much more when you actually get down to do it.
2. Make lots of eye contact.
Staring into your lover's eyes while he is thrusting you or going down on you can improve your sex life. Yes, having your eyes closed is a way to use your imagination which can be arousing as well, but there is something about eye contact that brings you in the moment and it allows you to show your vulnerability to that other person.
It gets you in tune with the other person. I will admit, it can be scary, because it makes you feel as if you are letting your guard down (which you are!), but the emotion is unlike anything else. This one is a must if you want to have mind blowing sex!
3. Keep the lights on!
Give your chance to see sex for what it is. A chance to get your clothes and guard off. This'll increase your self esteem, because you are aware that you are allowing your lover to see you for what you are, stretch marks, jelly and all.
Most men don't care of your body flaws. Stretch marks are our battle scars. If he does care, then that is probably not the person you should be sharing your body with.
Do it in front of a mirror. To see yourself in the act will be a huge turn on for yourself and your partner. A live porno!
Bonus tip for keeping the lights on:
A sexy alternative would be to dim the lights or light the room with candles. This will create an illuminating effect and make you look and feel that much sexier. :)
4. Kiss. A lot. But first...
Remember in the movie, Pretty Woman, when Richard Gere asks Julia Roberts what she would do sexually, she replied with "Everything. But I don't kiss on the mouth." Wonder why she said that? Whether you believe it or not, kissing can be extremely intimate maybe just as much as the act of sex is, depending on how you go about doing it.
Bonus tip for kissing:
Before getting into the act, kiss him/her everywhere except the lips. Why? It'll make them want it more. You are creating a desire within them to crave something that they want so badly but you aren't giving it to them. You can do this trick with anything, not just with kissing. And when you finally do, it'll be so intense, making your sex that much more incredible. :)
You can make sex a a purely physical act or a mind blowing experience. I prefer the latter. What things have you done that brought you to experience sex on a higher level? I'd love to hear from you. Leave your comments in the section below. :)