5 Ways to Tell the Difference Between Love and Lust

love vs. lust

It's easy to confuse love with lust. Because love can be expressed through sex, it's easy to think that they are one and the same. But they're not. 

Sex can bring out such intense emotions that we mistake it for love and while it can be at times, it's sometimes just lust. 

Here are 5 ways to tell if you're in love or lust with someone:

1. The intensity and frequency of sex on your mind with this person

Is sex all you think about when it comes to thinking about this person? 

If so, then chances are it's just lust.

Do you find yourself thinking about doing things with this person that are also non sexual like travelling, meeting your family, going to a museum, etc.?

It may be more than just physical.

While sexual attraction is important in any relationship with someone you love, there is such a thing as being too sexually attracted to someone that isn't love.

2. Stop doing certain things to focus more on them.

This could be something that they never asked you to do, but you just find yourself doing it or else you'll feel guilty like deleting past lover's phone numbers/social media, getting rid of your online dating profile, cutting off exes you would hook up with, etc. 

When someone makes you want to be faithful, loyal and honest without them ever telling you anything, that's definitely not just lust. 

It means that you care about that person and you're considerate of their feelings and want to change your behavior for the better because of them.

3. Doing things outside your comfort zone that they enjoy doing.

While it's ok to acknowledge differences of interests and hobbies in a relationship, doesn't it seem like we want to do whatever our partner wants to do when we're still in the "getting to know" phase?

Whether it's getting on a rollercoaster when you're absolutely terrified of them, going to that metal concert with them when you're more of a hip hop head, when we really care about someone, we tend to sacrifice our own preferences for theirs.

If you find yourself doing this and you feel happy and connected that you're sharing this with them, there's much more to that relationship than just sex.

4. Feel secure with them

Do you feel totally comfortable in bed and even outside the bed when you're just having a conversation? Comfort makes us feel secure and makes it easier to trust someone because of how good we feel in their presence.

Anything worth having takes work and if you feel motivated to put in effort to build something beautiful with the person, then there's a lot more going on than just lust.

5. Give it time

Time tells all! If you're still unsure whether your connection to someone is strictly love or lust with the previous four ways, then wait it out and you will get your answer.


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