For many of us who grew up in a religious upbringing, the topic of sex was a taboo in our households.
As little girls, if our parents saw us as sexually curious with our bodies, our hands would immediately get slapped away or we would be threatened with a spanking if we didn't stop from touching ourselves.
When we wore skirts or dresses, we were always told to close or cross legs and we confusingly did as we were told.
We became conditioned to believe that sex was "bad, disgusting, wrong" and as we became older, we internalized the idea that sex is an act that men can do to us and we must become a submissive and receptive to their sexual behavior.
Scriptures were presented to us left and right about what a godly woman is and interestingly enough, most of the ungodly traits for women in the bible were associated with a woman's sexual behavior, reinforcing the belief that what we do with our sexuality is how we gain or lose the approval of God as a "righteous woman".
For many of us, marriage became the justifiication for our participation in sexual behavior, pleasing our husbands to win favor in the eyes of God since we would not be fornicating.
Fortunately, many of us awakened and realized the sexual repression that was taught to us for most of our lives and sought to change it. We didn't know who or what to turn to, but we felt a tide about to turn within.
As time went on, we became stronger but from time to time, there still is a small voice telling us to feel ashamed when thinking about anything sexual.
Here are 3 ways we can awaken the Sexual Goddess and break free from our internalized sexual repression and help quiet that voice of shame:
1. Acknowledge when you feel aroused and remind yourself of the amazing sexual being that you are.
Religion teaches us to suppress feelings of excitement:
"Feeling the seam of jeans rub your clitoris? Don't wear your pants so tight."
"See an attractive man? Turn the other way".
Become in tune with what you feel and appreciate the sensation that your body is giving you.
You are reawakening a fire within that can fuel other passions in your life as well as enhance your creativity.
2. Masturbate to learn what pleases you.
Ironically, religion praises us to become a "virtuous woman" while simultaneously teaching us to become sexual objects for our husbands, thus denying our own pleasure.
Masturbation can be a way of demonstrating your power and ownership of your body. It can boost confidence in becoming in tune with your own sexuality for your own pleasure and satisfaction.
It's a great opportunity to be selfish, as women we are taught that we must give to everyone and put ourselves last.
Indulge in your own pleasure. You deserve it!
3. Recognize the sexual attraction between your self and others (whether single or married) and know that it's completely normal.
We are taught that lust is a "bad" thing to feel, so we repress the feeling. The funny thing is that the more we repress something, the more it will progress. Repressing our sexual feelings only stunts our growth in meeting our highest potential and can carry over to other aspects of our lives, destroying our self-confidence.
Feeling a strong sexual attraction to a stranger and more than one stranger is completely normal. It is part of our biology. It doesn't mean we have to act on it. We just acknowledge someone's beauty and we go on about our lives.
Religion teaches us that God is outside of us, which dismisses our power within. We are not helpless beings because the Goddess is within.
We are more powerful than we think we are in reclaiming our sexual power.
Historically, we have been oppressed for being born with a vagina, but embracing and loving who we are is key to unleashing the Sex Goddess within.
Transforming beliefs about our sexuality is no easy feat and can be a lifelong journey. Just like anything else in life, with consistent effort, we can unravel what we have been taught and take back our sexual power and evolve into our highest potential.