Skip to content
Do All Men Cheat? No. And Here's Why You Should Remain Hopeful
It's easy to think and believe that all men cheat. It's a social acceptance reflected upon in our society as the old "boys will be boys" mentality goes.
According to a study conducted by the General Social Survey, 20% of men and 13% of women shared that they had sex with someone else other than their spouse while they were married coming to the conclusion that more men cheat than women.
I believe that more men cheat because we as a society make it ok for them to do so!
It's human nature for something to cross your mind to do it when you know you can get away with it and if you have the support and cheerleading from your peers (in this case, men cheering on men) you'd probably do it to gain that social approval.
So it is in this case with men and infidelity.
Men are also aware of this notion about men.
Why do you think so many dads with daughters are so protective of them when it comes to men?
Because they know how their biological sex can be!
While most men cheat in monogamous relationship, not all do and that should keep you hopeful.
Here are 3 reasons why I remain hopeful and you should too:
1. I've met some great men who lived with integrity and valued monogamy with a woman.
Maybe you have too! Let those men be the reason why you can't generalize that all men cheat. There are faithful, true and loyal men that exist! It may take some extra time and effort to find them, but they're around.
To meet a man who values monogamy, it takes work to meet them and it's so worth it! That also would require of you to stay open to possibilities of meeting men in different places, through friends, through family and taking your time to get to know them (more on this later).
2. I also know that women aren't all about monogamy either. The earlier study that I mentioned reflects that as 13% of women reported that they've cheated on their spouse.
Whatever their reasons for cheating were just shows that women are also capable of infidelity and betraying their partners as well.
3. I don't believe that monogamy is natural. It's a choice. I believe that more men choose to not be monogamous because it's supported in our society, while with women, being non-monogamous is stigmatizing.
There are men and women that'll choose to intentionally have this type of sexual monogamous relationship and do whatever effort it takes to maintain that and create a beautiful relationship between two people out of it.
We have every right to live the way that we want to live even if it means going against what socially acceptable or conforming, but we can do it in an honest, truthful way without lying or cheating our way which hurts others.
Here are 3 ways to keep that hope alive and finally meet someone who doesn't fit into what society tolerates:
1. Trust your gut.
If you notice something is off or inconsistent with a man, trust that and walk away. Your gut feeling is almost always right.
I used to always confuse my gut feeling with fear and I've learned there are key differences between them:
Fear is constricting (tight throat, knotted stomach, clenched fists, headaches, etc.) while the gut feeling is expansive (you notice something in your stomach but not to the point where you can't eat or feel like vomiting, thinking back to different moments and connecting the dots, not feeling angry just left in wonder, etc.).
They may show up differently for people, but this is how I've been able to tell the difference within myself. It takes some practice, but it's a helpful inner wisdom to tune into.
2. Take your time. It will tell!
Hold off on sex for a bit to get a clearer understanding of what he is about.
Because sex is such a powerful if not the most intense force that exists for human beings, it's easy for it to cloud our thinking and we can start seeing things through "rose colored" glasses and not actual facts, which may get us into trouble and heartbreak later down the road with this person.
3. Don't drink alcohol or do anything else that alters your thinking or judgement.
Like sex, it's probably a good idea to stay away from drugs or alcohol to stay very aware of your feelings and how you feel in the presence of the man you're hanging out with.
It's hard because biology calls, but it's totally worth it!
Doing anything that alters your thinking isn't going to give you a clear idea of what a man is really about.
4. People tell you who they are. All you have to do is listen and watch.
Men may not always tell you what they're about, but they'll show you what they're about through their actions.
Whatever it is that they do and/or say, ask yourself if it's something you could accept and deal with ten years down the road because chances are that they will be the same way then as you met them now.
Men are not projects to be worked on. Like us, they're human beings who are only responsible for themselves and can only want to change for themselves.
To be happy in a relationship, all we can do is share our lives with someone without wanting to change them.
Meeting a faithful man who values monogamy is a numbers game.
You'll have to go through meeting several men before you come across someone who wants a monogamous relationship like you do.
Things worth having take work to get. You'll be thankful you folded up your sleeves and did it. :)