“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” - Socrates
In our society, we are conditioned as kids to buy more and more, for the subconscious reason given that having more things will make us happier. While buying some things can certainly improve our lives (having a car, for example), many things that we acquire leave us feeling satisfied only for a few days or weeks and then we return back to how we were feeling before we bought the thing.
You know that feeling you get after that "spring cleaning" session you had clearing out your closet or your car or any other place that needed organizing and decluttering? What if you could feel that way everyday?
What if we decided to stop buying things to impress others or that don't provide long lasting value to our lives and instead focus on the things that bring more happiness in our lives?
We've all heard the saying that "the best things in life are free". We could not agree more. A baby's laugh, watching the sunset while overlooking the ocean, a hug from a loved one, reaching the peak of a mountain after hiking, a homeless person's smile--- these are heart warming moments that cost nothing.
What if we decided to seek more heart warming moments instead of acquiring things? I think minimalism has gotten a bad rep in our society because it goes against everything that we have been taught. We tend to think of minimalism as an ascetic lifestyle, living our days in deprivation. Very Un-American in our all-consuming culture.
Minimalism is more than anything, a state of mind and far from deprivation.
Minimalism is paying attention to the things that we bring into our lives. From food to clothing to relationships, it is asking "does this (fill in the blank) add value to my life?"
Minimalism is the practice of adding quality to our lives, rather than quantity.
Which brings us to the topic of sex. How does minimalism give us more sexually satisfying sex lives?
Having a sexually satisfied life has nothing to do with the amount of times you have sex or the amount of partners that you are intimate with.
How good is the sex you're having? Are you just "going through the motions" or is it a mind-blowing experience? How can you make it a mind blowing experience?
This way of thinking is not very different as to how we minimalists think when it comes to all aspects of our lives.
It is about evaluating if the things that we have in our lives add value and quality to it. If not, then why keep those things around?
Many of us would rather have one mind blowing sexual experience than several unsatisfying ones.
Having more of something
One other way that practicing minimalism indirectly gives us more sexually satisfied lives is that by having less things, we are less stressed and worried, which leaves room to want sex and seek other fulfilling experiences.
Acquiring more and more things, leads us to more things that we have to pay, more hours to put in at work, exhausting all of our energy to maintain and keep the things that we bought, leaving no time or energy for sex. It's a hamster wheel that we feel we can't get out of and the last thing we want to do is have sex!
Or in contrast, we have more sex to cope with the stress, but it has no quality. It is more to seek a release rather than being present in the experience.
Having less stress in our lives allows us to think clearly and see what experiences are adding value to our lives and what isn't.
Have you practiced minimalism in your life? If so, how has that affected the quality of sexual experiences that you've had?
Thanks for reading! :)