We are creatures of habit. It's easy to want to stick with what is familiar and stay away from new experiences and/or opportunities, for fear of loss and pain. Lonely nights, too many tequila shots, reminiscing the moments with your ex after listening to certain love songs can make you want to seek the once happy moments that you shared with them.
So we text.
Us: "How are you?"
Them: "Good. How are you?"
Us: "Good. What are you up to?"
Them: "Not much. You?"
Us: "Wanna hang out?"
You Uber to their place or them to yours and before you know it, what you've been craving for has become your reality.
Sex with your ex. So good because they know your body so well. It just flows with them. It's as if you've never skipped a beat and you just picked up where you left off.
But is it worth it?
Research says it just might be. According to a study conducted at the University of Arizona with a sample of 137 adults, sleeping with a recent ex can provide cushion in dealing with your break-up with them.
But keep in mind that this study focused on recent separations from partners, not the effects after long term separation.
So why might it not be worth it?
It won't help heal your heart and give you a chance to open your heart to someone else. If we let our exes continue to occupy our hearts, we are not giving ourselves the chance to experience a more compatible, thus healthier relationship with someone else. It's a roadblock to meeting other people.
The ex is an ex for a reason. They're no longer around because the bad outweighed the good with them. When we miss an ex, we tend to only focus on the good moments and completely block out the bad ones and how they made us feel.
Ultimately, who we choose to have sex with is our own decision and no one else's. To truly have a sexually satisfying life, we do still have to take our emotions into consideration and how they play into sex. Just like anything else in life, sex is never an independent act in and of itself. It is one of the most amazing experiences we could ever give to ourselves and seeking to understand it and flow with it can bring some of the most powerful aspects of ourselves to surface.
Far from easy, but so worth it. :)