Dating in our flirty 30s is no easy feat. Many of us have grown wiser, while others of us become jaded from our whirlwind romances in our 20s.
But there's hope!
In our 30s, we begin to see things as they are, rather than how we want them to be and that can help soften the inevitable dating blows.
Here are 7 harsh truths about dating in your 30s (3 truths are great news!):
1. You may not know exactly what you want, but you know FOR SURE what you don't want.
We can thank our exes in our 20s for this. There are things that we would never put up with again, but we still can't pinpoint what it is exactly that we're looking for. We follow our intuition. We just know it when we feel it. :)
2. We may have or meet people with heavier baggage.
Whether it's kids, taking care of parents, debt, Stds, etc.--- we're more likely to have a lot more complexities at this point in our lives, and that's perfectly okay.
As the saying goes, "Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." --Unknown
3. We come across more jaded and/or burned out bachelors like never before.
Chances are, we're going to come across a lot of people that have been hurt just like we have and sadly, many have given up on dating and relationships altogether and just decide to go through the motions with things.
But we can't give up! We take the lessons to be learned and move forward until we meet someone worthy of our time and effort.
4. We're more intolerant of men and their flaws.
Because of our past experiences, we tend to pick up very quickly on someone else's flaws that are deal breakers and run for the hills. We're older and wiser now. There's no time to waste on people who are not healthy for us.
5. Dating apps become your Wingwoman.
Remember the days when it wasn't considered creepy to have a guy come up to you while walking down the street to introduce himself? We don't either! That was so 90's and early 00s!
It's hard to meet people in person who actually have courage to ask someone on a date, nowadays. Sadly, it's considered thirsty and desperate to do so, unless it's at a bar or club, where people will talk to you, but only because they had the liquid courage to do so.
6. We may feel the pressure to meet someone to have babies with.
Being in our early 30s sets a reminder that we only have a few more years before it gets even harder to have a baby.
Our family starts asking when we'll get married and have babies. Most of our friends already have kids and married or kids and divorced.
7. We'll still meet men who date like they're in their 20s.
We'd like to think that age can only make us wiser, right? Couldn't be further from the truth. We'll still come across men either our age or older who only want to "Netflix and chill". Be vigilant, ladies!
While these first 7 may be harsh truths, here are a few that are a reason to look forward to being your 30s:
8. Sex life may be better.
Research has found that older women (ages 27-45, to be exact) are having more sex and have more fantasies. These researchers theorized that it may be due our biological inclination in overdrive to make babies at this point, and since our body is recognizing the decline in baby-making possibilities around this age, we're more likely to be wanting and having more sex.
We'd like to think that it also may be due to us being more comfortable in our own skin. Our 20s were full of trial and error and many insecurities.
We struggle to figure out our place in the world, which then leads us to our 30s, where things start smoothing out, allowing us to grow from all the mistakes and challenges presented in our 20s.
9. Possibly shorter recovery time of breakups.
This one is related to #8. We've grown up to realize that we're not actually Princesses, but Queens, and we don't need to base our happiness on Prince Charming. We may have to kiss many frogs before our King comes along, but we're not going to settle.
10. We have more courage to be vulnerable.
We may have been hurt a lot in our 20s and we realized that playing hard to get or acting like we don't care isn't going to give us what we want: a loving relationship.
It takes vulnerability to connect with someone on a deep level. It may be one of the most difficult things we have ever done, but definitely worthwhile.
Our 30s think so.
Just like any other aspect in life, meeting someone relationship-worthy will take time and effort. Though life isn't short if it's well-lived, it's not long enough to settle for someone who doesn't help you grow and feel alive in life. Someone who inspires you to live your life as if you had nothing to lose. Because you don't.
Live, Love and Laugh, Ladies!
Thanks for reading. :)