The Internet Has Weakened Our Dating Backbone

The Internet Has Weakened Our Dating Backbone

“It’s right there in the name. It’s not ‘GreatCupid’ or even ‘GoodCupid.’ It’s OkCupid.” - Helen Hong, Comedienne

Dating is tough. The internet has made it that much tougher. Most of us suffer from dating-option overload, burning us out and leaving us feeling lonely.

With dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid, it's easy to believe that the "grass is greener" on the other side and so we swipe left until we see the possible "next best thing" and swipe right. 

The internet has given us an eternity of options. Everything and everyone we want or don't want is a click, delete key or swipe away. Everything is possible on the internet. We don't even have to think anymore about what or who we want in our lives. We simply "delete" what and who no longer works for us and move on to something we believe to be better. 

Most of the time, things aren't better, just different. And we continue running on this hamster wheel, exhausting ourselves to the point that we give up and start believing that there's no good men/women out there.

But the truth is, there are many good men and women out there. We're just not taking the time to see that in the people that we meet. We want fast results. And sadly, we have come to base our potential romantic connections on a left or right thumb swipe.

We've become a culture that bases our connection with people on the number of Facebook friends that we have. 

What happened to the pre-Facebook days when we were approached politely while walking down the street by a guy/girl who introduced himself to us and asked us if we wanted to have a cup of coffee? 

We could feel the vibes, read the other person's body language to decide whether or not we wanted to proceed with a date or give them our phone number.

People can lie with the words they say or on the About Me section on their profile, but they can never lie in their body language. This is the missing link to feeling another person out (no pun intended) in dating that online dating apps could never give us!

And it seems like in our society nowadays, approaching someone in the street or anywhere in public can come off as creepy or desperate. As if meeting someone online whom you can see which friends on Facebook you share with, isn't creepy?

We've become cowards to approaching an attractive person in public. We look with wonder and hope that they're on Tinder or Happn, and swipe away and come to find out that they're not. You look back up from your phone, only to realize that they're gone and sad that you just lost your chance of a potentially meaningful connection.  

There's nothing to be scared of in talking to people in person. We are social creatures. If they think that you're creepy for approaching them in person, that's not someone you want to be with. Chances are, that's the person who will be on their phones swiping away on Tinder or scrolling through their Facebook feed while you're on a date with them! 

Let's take it back old-school and try meeting people in person, ladies! It's sad to call it old school, but it is. It's no wonder that the internet has made us lonelier than ever. While it obviously has its pros, as in everything in life, too much of something can be a bad thing. And as far as dating goes, it's probably done more harm than good.

There are exceptions to the rule in successful relationships developing via the internet, of course, but that isn't a reason to not seek to meet someone in person. Even if you don't meet love in person, you'll make new friends along the way! It'll help you develop those communication skills that are crucial to having a fulfilling relationship in the future. There is nothing to lose in doing this.

Join a meetup group. Go to coffee shops. Go to the gym often (get your workout on and have a chance to meet someone at the same time? Win-win!). Go anywhere where there's people who you can strike up a conversation with and/or meet people of similar interests. Even if a conversation doesn't lead to a potential date, you'll be strengthening that connecting backbone of yours, making you bolder for the future to meet a potential love interest in person.

How has the internet impacted dating in your life? If you're up to it, we'd love for you to share in the comments section below.

Thanks for reading. :)










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