The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey reflects most women's fantasy about dating a man like Christian Grey. He is filthy rich, an entrepreneur, a passionate and kinky lover and the main reason we really love him is because when it comes to the woman that he desires, everything else comes second.
Is it possible to find a man like this in the real world?
Sure, but he will most likely be a lot older (50s+), having spent much of his youth establishing his career (aka Sugardaddies).
Do we want to date someone as old as our dad? Probably not.
Dating a man who is ambitious around our age range (we're talking mid 20s-mid 30s) can be amazing because ambition is a positive character trait, but there is one easily overlooked caveat: If a man is in process of establishing his career/business while you are with him, chances are he will put that first before your relationship.
And we must be honest with ourselves and ask: Will I be ok with being second to my man's career?
During the honeymoon phase, we become so intrigued and amazed at hearing our partner's plans and goals in life, forgetting that there will have to be many sacrifices made in the relationship to make these goals come true.We want to be with someone that is doing something with their lives, yet we also want them to be there to hold us at night and be there for us when we need them.
The truth is, a man on a mission towards success won't always be there to spoon with you at night. He'll have to take important calls while you're having dinner. He may be on the other side of the world when you go into labor!
Realizing this can be a hard pill to swallow, but it is the part of the bittersweet experience of being with a driven man.
This isn't to say that there aren't women who are like this and men who are the exception because they do exist, but in our society, most men are taught to identify themselves by their accomplishments and career, while most women are taught to identify themselves by family and physical appearance.
It's important to remember that while your man is working towards his dreams, to not forget that you have dreams too, that you are entitled to work on as well. Many of us were conditioned from childhood to be nurturers and while there's nothing wrong with being supportive, we must be careful in not losing ourselves and forgetting to look out for the desires that we have for our own lives. This can help in maintaining that support between you too and strengthening your relationship, both of you busy building your own empires.
It's easy for us to fantasize a Christian Grey who obsesses over us and will always be by our side, but the truth is, if we want someone always by our side, then dating someone mediocre would be a better option.
Doesn't sound very appealing, does it?
If a man has too much time on his hands to spend with you, chances are he's not working toward goals. This is a hard truth, ladies.
Once we accept the reality instead of our fantasies of what relationships with successful men should be like, then and only then, will we be able to mentally prepare ourselves in advance for the sacrifices, and not let it stop us from persevering and fighting for our relationship.
Anything worth having never comes easy and it's no different in dating a man working towards his dreams.