Why It's Perfectly Okay To Not End Up With The Person We Love

Why It's Perfectly Okay To Not End Up With The Person You Love

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”  ~Elizabeth Gilbert

 We'd all like to believe in the fairytale that when we find love, we can live happily ever after.

Most of us have put this fairytale idea to the test, coming to the realization that it takes much more than those butterflies in your tummy to build and maintain a healthy relationship.

To add to the complexity of love, we may end up falling in love with someone that we least expect and they may not hold the same passions and interests as ours, but somehow they know how to touch our heart in a way that we may have never experienced.

We can feel torn, confused and conflicted have strong emotions for someone that we know we aren't compatible with. They may have kids and want a settled down type of lifestyle, while you want to see the world and not be held down working a traditional 9 to 5. But, we love them.

They're the one person that we run to when we need to vent our frustration, express our vulnerabilities, trusting them fully to not judge and be there for you unconditionally.

And they always are. 

So what can we do if we're in a predicament like this?

Is this the person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with?

Some of us may take a chance on the possibility of growing a love that's already healthy and sincere, while others don't, accepting the reality that we're both on very different paths and the sacrifices that would need to be made to be together are not worth the tradeoff of losing who we are and we want to pursue in life.

 All relationships, whether platonic or romantic, are really just mirrors of ourselves. We get in touch with different aspects of ourselves in different people and maybe it's not a bad thing to not end up with someone we love, but rather to be grateful that we ever even met them in the first place.

Many people live and die, never having experienced loving and being loved by someone.

Perhaps all we can do is appreciate that we have had this wonderful experience with someone and cherish it for the rest of our lives.

We can then do our best to experience a similar love with someone else who's more compatible with us in sharing the rest of our lives with.

Thanks for reading. :)



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